DICK PICKS OF THE WEEK
Every week, we serve you the most unhinged, slightly uncalled for, and totally irresistible Dickers that somehow made it past our "Are you sure about this?" filter. From feral energy, bathroom stall logic, and jail house wisdom these Dick Picks aren't safe for work, or your mother. 
Bold. Questionable. Relatable? Collect them all before we regret them.

Scissor Me Timber - 3-inches of Cutthroat Chaos
These aren't your grandmother's scissors - unless she was a pirate with no boundary issues. This Dicker slices through subtlety like a sword through rum-soaked rope. Perfect for laptops, water bottles, or your crew's group chat moderator. Stick responsibly...or don't. Yarrr.
Sharp. Naughty. Slightly nautical.

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Celebrate My Wiener - 3-inches of Questionable Freedom
Nothing says America like a hotdog, flag, and star-spangled wiener in full glory. Stick it to your cooler, slap it on your truck, or gift it to the most patriotic disaster that you know. Because freedom isn't free- sometimes it costs your dignity.
Hot. Proud. Slightly processed.

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Buffingo - 3-inches of Inflatable Rage
This flamingo is not here for your cannonballs, your weird pool vibes, or your lukewarm sangria. It's glossy, sassy, and one unolicited splash away from Floating the Fuck our of this situation. Whether you are poolside or emotionally underwater, this 3-incher captures the perfect blend of tropical and unbothered with a vengeance. Because some days, self-care means leaving the damn pool.
Stick it, strut off, and stay inflated.